The Ability of the Successful

The ability to delay gratification has been studied as one of the most effective traits of successful people. Learning to manage ones own needs through developing skills such as discipline and self-control leads to greater success in many areas of life including career, relationships, finances and health. Those that give in to their present desires tend to struggle with impulse control, higher levels of stress, and health issues.

To reach greater future rewards, it is often required to sacrifice our immediate desires; the act of which may feel challenging in the moment as we consciously put off the release of feel good chemicals.

The role of discipline is in maintaining the ability to pass on immediate rewards that may seem more tempting. In order to reach for long-term goals, one must make regular consistent efforts in reaching for their future goals which requires a higher level of self-control. To take said consistent action, the skill of discipline is important to develop. This means taking daily steps towards your goal, even when you don’t feel like it.

Sacrifice

This is where sacrifice enters the picture. To sacrifice is to give up something of importance, value or desire to you for the greater good, or in this frame of view, for your long-term goal/s. This can involve letting go of an immediate desire, such as sugary foods to reach a healthier and more energetic self or giving up the time spent watching tv in order to develop a skill. It can also include waking up earlier to work on a business idea or develop professional skills.

Depending on your goal, there are many things that are sacrificed for the sake of future outcomes.

Below are four different kinds of sacrifices that can be made daily.

• Time – Giving up your time to spend it with others, develop a skill, or building your career.
• Comfort – Giving up your “comfort zone” to expand your experiences by trying new things, meeting new people or letting go of comfort items, food, clothes or immediate desires for long-term gain. Including physical comfort to proceed working out for a healthier self.
• Resources – Giving up items of convenience for the sake of long-term financial gain or opposingly spending financial resources on developing a skill, gaining an education or building a business. Letting go of resources for the benefit of others.
• Social – Giving up a highly social life to focus on personal skills, career, save resources, be present for family etc.

When you consider a highly successful individual, for example the CEO of a large company, they have sacrificed a lot of time to develop their professional skills and build a career in their chosen field. Some sacrifice having a family for the sake of career and if they have pursued family, they often don’t get to spend as much time with them. This weighs on the individual and their family but they continue with their career to provide a future of comfort for their loved ones, securing shelter, food, health care, education and so on.

Delayed Gratification

According to Britannica delayed gratification is “the act of resisting an impulse to take an immediately available reward in the hope of obtaining a more valued reward in the future.”

Long-term gratification delays the release of dopamine and an individual can face many challenges as they continue to avoid immediate rewards that would delay the achievement of their goals. By overcoming obstacles while developing self-control and managing their needs, they feel a much greater sense of achievement that lasts a significantly longer period of time. The rewards gained including a sense of self-trust, control, discipline, sense of pride as well as the outcome of the goal itself can continue to be a source of inspiration and achievement for years to come. The things that we have worked the hardest to achieve are often what we are most proud of in life.

Meanwhile short-term pleasure lasts for a very limited time for an immediate release of dopamine. As this chemical and the rewards associated with the present desire are quickly over with, an individual will soon seek another dopamine hit either through impulsive actions or by consuming higher levels of their original desire. Short-term gratification is also short-lived and can be followed with feelings of regret and shame.

Some examples of delayed gratification that lead to significant future achievements;

• Time dedicated to study to enter university and create a rewarding career
• Sleep to have time every morning working out before the rest of the day
• Weekends working to earn money towards a home or holiday
• Getting rid of junk food for a healthier self that can play with their future kids
• Money spent on tools and classes to develop a passion skill
• Social life in exchange for a future career

Smaller daily sacrifices include;

• No tv so you complete extra work or study
• A sleep in to have time to keep the house clean
• Not spending on immediate desires to pay the bills

Discipline

Making these sacrifices whether small or big requires control and self-discipline. Discipline is “the ability to keep working at something that is difficult” (Wiki). This skill is important in developing and gaining the mental strength to choose delayed gratification and allow the sacrifices that will be made on the way to your goal. It is also defined by Oxford Languages as the ability to “train oneself to do something in a controlled and habitual way.” It’s important to be patient and kind to yourself as you develop this skill.
The origin of the word discipline is from the Latin word discipulus which means student. To be disciplined is to be a student of your own mind. Discover how you learn best and continue even when doubt persists.

Strategies for Building Discipline & Maintaining Commitment

Be clear on your goal

There’s different types of goals including learning, performance, financial, social or simply any other general goal. Get specific on what it is you want and what it will take to get there. Think of the outcome and what that level of achievement will mean to you.

Manage stress

Stress interferes with concentration and focus making self discipline more challenging. Easier to give in to immediate desires for relief. Learn the signs of your body feeling stress.

Get curious about what works for you

Create a schedule that suits you and your needs. Consider if you work better in the morning or at night. Learn how you learn best. Do you work better at home or at a cafe or library? Do you prefer to work alone or with others?

Shift thought patterns to be positive and inspiring

This can include remembering your why, reminding yourself you are capable. Negative thought patterns an leave you feeling stuck. How would you support a loved one? Talk to yourself as if you were your best friend and allow yourself to be your best friend. Alternatively, stop listening to your mind at all.

Keep it manageable

Set the bar low to begin with to develop trust in your abilities to achieve. This will also allow you to have a higher likelihood at maintaining the habit.

Break task into smaller tasks

If you’re having trouble of where to start, begin by breaking your goal down into smaller parts until it becomes more manageable and you’re ready to take daily action.

Recall Why

Look at the underlying reason why you’re aiming to achieve the long-term goal instead of the short-term goal. What are the repercussions of giving into your short-term desires and how does it impact your dream?

Ask Yourself

When in doubt of the actions you need to take next, ask yourself, ‘what would a disciplined person do?’

Repeat

Repeat the daily actions and continue toward your long-term goal until its habit. Do your best not to miss a day, but if you do, control any potential negative emotions and return to a positive state of mind. Sitting in feelings of guilt, or stress is more likely to increase procrastination out of fear of repeating a missed day.

Persist

Delayed gratification requires a continual and consistent effort over an extended period of time which in itself requires a personal level of persistence.

Inspiration, Motivation

When momentum falls short and immediate desires begin to arise, it’s the right time to recall your inspiration and find your motivation to return to your goal.

Believe

Occasionally doubt can creep in, particularly when the results appear to be far away. During those time it’ important to believe that the results you desire are possible. This goes hand in hand with developing a positive mindset, including in regard to your own capabilities and thoughts of yourself.

Developing discipline is like building a muscle or any other skill. It will take time, persistence and there will be times where you don’t feel like it. Remember the definition of discipline; to keep working even when it’s difficult.

Overcoming Challenges and Temptations

There are many challenges that can arise on the journey to the success of your future goal including the temptations of your own wants and desires. We can often get stuck in the habits we’ve developed from a young age and it takes time to break out of these habits and form new, beneficial ones. The journey won’t always be easy but overcoming the struggles will build a stronger, trust-worthy self that you can rely on.

 To reach for the long-term dream holds value beyond the goal itself.

Other factors can come into play including the social influences of others. This will depend on your goal but there can be many expectations from outside influences that ask things that may interfere with your daily focus and routine. This is part of the sacrifice aspect discussed previously and you must weigh your options and make the decision that is best for you.

After a while of maintaining the discipline of consistently working towards the big future goal and rolling with the momentum, it’s possible this will slow down to a stop where the temptation to give in to the short-term can arise.

Another possibility that can halt your progress toward your goal is doubting the future reward will arrive. It seems it’s important to continue building trust in yourself by improving discipline to increase your belief that the desired future outcome will indeed come to fruition.

When temptations arise, remember the future rewards, growth and why you decided to pursue it in the first place. Consider how you would feel if you gave up and if (or when) you fall down, pick yourself back up and keep trying. train yourself to keep going back.

You never fail until you stop trying.

Albert Einstein

Delaying gratification is the ability to develop willpower, self-control and manage emotional and physical desires for a desired future outcome. It takes practice and time to build the accompanying skill-set including discipline, awareness and persistence. All of which assist in making the appropriate sacrifices for the sake of your goal. There are many techniques to practice, and one must be dedicated towards the achievement of their goal to maintain daily habits that will move them closer.

To aim towards your dream, towards any long-term goal takes courage. You can achieve it. It will take time, dedication and sacrifice but each day and every step will take you closer to your dream. Take notes on the strategies for building discipline, the cornerstone for maintaining your practice and be kind when challenges arise so that you may persist on with greater vigour. Find your inspiration and this will unlock your motivation and remain curious about what works best for you.

If you have a goal you dream of achieving but are unsure where to start while struggling to train your level of discipline to delay gratification, contact me to book in a Counselling Psychotherapy session to gain the support, accountability and encouragement you need to reach your goals.

Comment below with your long-term dream, your inspiration and what you struggle to